Voice: low

There are a couple of things I can do to keep myself in the calm mode: keep my voice low and keep my voice slow. When I start to get triggered, my voice starts getting…hmmm…. strident? (some might say “bitchy”). When I can hear my voice getting shrill, it gets higher in pitch.
So I use my voice as a measuring instrument: when my voice starts climbing, I either consciously lower it, or leave the room. I listen to the pitch. Shrill is not the way I want to go! I think of Marlon Brando playing the Godfather: what power and control in whispering and making people lean in. I want to be that much in control of myself, so “in charge” that I never, NEVER have to yell.
We experiment with using “Papa Bear voices” — especially low-toned voices, spoken slowly. It’s funny – we laugh! and there’s no fighting.