Be brave enough….

Posted by on Oct 12, 2011 in General | 0 comments You’ve got to love this from Brave Girls Club. Yes, you can take a stance to believe what you want to – it will get better. So many people I see are struggling right now. Yes, you can tell your teen you love them, sing while you drive, smile at others. Their response is irrelevant – it’s more about being how you want to be. You could stop reading right now and tell someone you love that you love them. Right now, this very minute, can be...
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Einstein’s point of view

Posted by on Oct 8, 2011 in General | 0 comments Thank you to Chris Pritchard for sharing this from Love-Worldwide’s Facebook page. Research has shown that only 12% of us have the ability to be high academic achievers, and our high school drop out rate is running at around 24%. (Don’t get me started on the state of our current education system..!) Thank you to Albert Einstein and Steve Jobs for reminding us to see the unique qualities in our kids and to support them in their creativity and strengths. And thank you to all the parents who are stepping up to see and support their kids in being who they...
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I’ve got your back.

Posted by on Aug 24, 2011 in Parenting Techniques | 0 comments The beginning of a new school year brings up a lot of things: excitement, fear, stress, stress, stress. Look at your kid: see how brave they are being: to go to school, meet new teachers, see old friends, start school work again …. wow. What courage – to even walk into campus that first day! How can I tell my kid that I have his back? That I believe in him/her? I’m steering away from worrying and trying to control and toward thinking about how I can get the message across: I’m in your corner. I believe in you. Wow, you’re really growing up! I love you. Any ideas? Practice Easy: Text your kid “I love you” every day. More Challenging: Tell them directly that you believe in them. Even More Challenging: Ask them how you can support them even more, “If you have any ideas about ways that I can support you, please let me...
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It’s HARD to stand by and watch

Posted by on Aug 6, 2011 in General | 0 comments When kids are young, it’s exciting, thrilling to watch them as they struggle to achieve: remember watching as they tried, again and again, to roll over? I’d watch my son on his blanket, his face red with exertion, as he summoned all his strength to learn how to roll over. I felt totally connected to him as I excitedly cheered him on. Then came walking. As he would stand and wobble at the coffee table, holding onto the edges as he circled it, hand over hand, in some crazed folk dance, I was thrilled, amazed — vibrantly loving parenthood. So why aren’t I enthused and delighted when my teen struggles with his developmental tasks: coming home late, not telling me where he is, encountering sex, drugs, and rock and roll? He’s not doing this stuff ‘to’ me — he’s just doing his normal teenager struggles. He’s growing, and struggling — aren’t they the same thing sometimes? Why is this not “cute” anymore – why is this so hard for me to stand by and...
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Voice: slow

Posted by on Jul 18, 2011 in General, Parenting Stance, Parenting Techniques | 2 comments Slowing down – speaking slowly. Not easy in general, and especially not when I am frustrated, uncomfortable, happy or enthusiastic (Dang – I think that’s about all of the time!). AND when I can keep my voice s..l..o..w, I LIKE the way I sound. Kids can hear me better, I can hear me better, and I can stop being so reactive and start responding. In class, we ask, “Do you want to be more like Lil’ Kim, or more like Angelina Jolie?” You get the idea – I really like ME when I am slower and more in control. The speed of my voice with my kids is my temperature gauge: how fast and hot am I running? In class, we use suggestions to get away from the ‘rapid responding mode’ – things like using a shrug (and then another one, if needed), or saying, “hmmm….” or saying, “That’s an interesting idea; I’ll have to think about that.” I like myself a lot more when I speak and respond slowly. I also think of fights I have had and things I regretted saying — almost all of them were said fast. And I think back to my own teenage days, when I would make my parents mad and there would be yelling: time to tune out. Practice: easy: start to notice how quickly or slowly you speak. more challenging: make a concerted effort to think first and speak more slowly. even more challenging: Use nonverbals (shrug, hug, smile), and when you do speak to your child, use 7 words or...
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